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3 Problems You Might Have at Work (and How to Fix Them)

Dr. Henry Cloud 3 Problems You Might Have at Work (and How to Fix Them)

A lack of boundaries creates problems in the workplace. In consulting for major corporations, I have seen a lack of boundaries as the major problem in many management squabbles If people took responsibility for their own work and set clear limits, most of the problems for which I get consulted would not exist.

Here are three ways applying boundaries can solve some common problems in the workplace.

Problem #1: Getting Saddled with Another Person’s Responsibilities.

Many over-responsible people who works next to under-responsible people bear the consequences for their coworkers. Always covering for them, or bailing them out, they are not enjoying their work or their relationships with these people. Their lack of boundaries is hurting them, as well as keeping the other person from growing. If you are one of these people, you need to learn to set boundaries.

 

If you are being saddled with another person’s responsibilities and feel resentful, you need to take responsibility for your feelings, and realize that your unhappiness is not your coworker’s fault, but your own. This is as in any other boundary conflict, you first must take responsibility for yourself.

 

Then you must act with responsibility to your coworker. Explain your situation to them. When they ask you to do something that is not your responsibility, say no. Do not fall into the trap of justifying why you can’t do the work for them. You owe no one an explanation about why you will not do something that is not your responsibility.

 

Note: Sometimes a coworker will genuinely need some extra help. It is perfectly legitimate to bail out a responsible coworker or a colleague who needs time to get well. This is love, and good companies operate lovingly.

 

Problem #2: Working Too Much Overtime

Many employees take responsibility for their bosses lack of planning and never set limits. If you are in a situation in which you’re doing lots of extra work because you are afraid of being let go, you have a problem.

 

As hard as it sounds, you need to take responsibility for yourself and and take steps to change your situation. You first need to set boundaries by deciding how much overtime you are willing to do. Next, review your job description if one exists. Then, make a list of the tasks you need to complete each month. Assign each task a priority, and indicate which tasks fall outside of your job description.

 

Lastly, make an appointment to see your boss to discuss your job overload. Review your list of tasks together and have your boss prioritize them. Be honest if you cannot complete the tasks in the amount of time you’re willing to give.

 

Problem #3: Misplaced Priorities

Effective workers do two things: they strive to do excellent work, and they spend their time on the most important things.

Work will grow to fill the time you have set aside for it. If a meeting does not have an agenda with time limits, discussion could be endless. Allot time for certain things, and then keep your limits. You will work smarter and like your work more.

Listen to Henry talk about boundaries in the workplace and much more on his brand-new podcast, The Leadership University Podcast. Listen now!

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3 Powerful Ways to Prevent Conflict at Work

Henry Cloud Leadership Blog 3 Ways to Prevent Conflict at Work

If you’re like most people, you spend a lot of your life at work. Work is a place with many possibilities for stress, conflict, risk, and loss.

It is a place where you put in the best of who you are. You are serving, and at times sacrificing, trying to please, and also establishing friendships on the teams with whom you work. So it naturally follows that you can experience some emotionally trying times there.

In addition, you have a job to do. Sometimes, in the course of doing your job, conflict arises. They may be between your colleagues or people you manage and supervise or your supervisors and bosses. Much rides on your ability to handle confrontation well. It may make a difference not only in how you feel on the job, but also whether your company or department performs well.

One of the best ways for a leader to manage conflict is to stop it before it turns into something big. Conflict will still happen, but the following three tips will help you lay the groundwork to prevent it.

1. Find Out What the Reality Is

Find out what the reality is regarding talking about things that come up. Once you find that out, you know better where you stand and have more freedom to proceed.

Usually these realities fall into a few categories. The first one is formal structure. Some things fall out of the realm of talking to your co-worker; they require a formal procedure. Your HR department or supervisor will be able to help you there. The second is a less formal structure is to ask your supervisor or co-worker how they would like to address issues together. Simply say, “I want to have the best working relationship that we can. How do you want us to talk about things when issues arise between us?”

Finding out what the rules are and how issues are faced give you more freedom within which to operate.

2. If You Supervise, Do It Along the Way

One of the toughest things a manager or supervisor has to do is bring up issues about someone’s performance. But this can also be one of the best parts about working together. People improve with feedback. Yet, sadly, managers often do not bring things up as they happen and then they have to confront in a big way later.

3. Share Your Feelings

What do you do when someone at work hurts you? I know what I wish people do with me: Let me know. That is the ideal way for things to happen—for people to talk to each other.
In the spirit of doing better work and accomplishing goals and tasks, resolve the issues that are making work difficult for you, such as things that are so hurtful you find it hard to do your job, or people’s performance and work styles. Along with your bosses and coworkers, make sure that your culture and workplace is one that builds people up and helps them do a better job together.


To get a job done, we have to solve problems and “face” things. To get along well, we have to work out relational issues with each other through facing things as well. So the entire arena of work requires good confrontation skills to work well. Confront well, and you will work better also.

 

This article was adapted from Dr. Henry Cloud's How to Have the Difficult Conversations You’ve Been Avoiding. Find the book that's right for you now.

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